One of the most used excuses is, “I just don’t have the time.” I use it for all kinds of things as a way to justify me not doing anything about whatever it is; laundry, dishes, romance. I mean, who has time for all these things and so many others when you’ve got two toddlers running around all day long!? It takes so much commitment and a lot of me doesn’t want to do it.
I know that for my marriage to last and be fulfilled, though, I need to make time. Literally I have to schedule in time for “us” but that’s what I’m willing to do because I really DO love my husband and truly appreciate everything he does, not just for me but for our babies, too.
Recently we’ve both started to go to church and try to get closer with God. That has been my number one life-changing event that I feel like pretty much turned my life around. God is great and He can and will do all things He has planned for you. I realized that I have to give Him the time He needs and that things won’t always be done on my schedule and when it’s convenient for me.
Making time for God within your marriage is my number one tip. Without God, for me, there would be no marriage. I needed to be closer to Him in order to find my path in my marriage.
Since I am a stay-at-home/work-from-home Mama who has two toddlers everyday at home sometimes it can seem like I am always leaving my husband with the kids after a long day’s work and I know that he needs to relax too. Something we’ve started doing is hiring a babysitter on the days my husband is off work. No, we don’t actually need a sitter during those times because obviously, we’re both home and can watch the kids but it’s been the best thing for us. Being able to do things around the house or spend time together without the guilt of leaving the kiddos with one or the other exhausted parents feels SO good! Sometimes I’ll go somewhere and work on the blog or edit photos from a client session when we have our sitter but most times my husband and I go do something together. A movie is always a plus however I tend to be so tired throughout it. Sometimes we will just go run errands together like we used to before kids and it’s nice!
Being married these days is hard. Add in the fact that my husband is a Police Detective in a major metropolitan area meaning he’s always busy, and it can be even tougher. We try to sit with each other every night once both kiddos are asleep and watch a show on Netflix. That’s just our “thing”. It works for us and that’s what you’ll have to find for your marriage.
I think it’s important to realize that you don’t always have to go out to have fun and meaningful times and memories with each other. Having dinner alone at your dining room table after the kids are asleep can be just as fun and romantic as it would be to be out and about enjoying a nice restaurant.
Something I’ve recently decided to try to do is to look nice everyday, not for my husband, but for me. I feel more attractive, more open, and more receptive to other’s needs when I feel better about myself even if it is superficial! Let’s be honest though, rarely do I have my hair brushed and any makeup on until about 1:00 pm, haha!