A Letter To My Four Year Old
To my first-born, my best friend, the light of my life, and the all-day-princess-dress-wearing Emily,
As I look at you today, the amazing and sassy little human being you are I can't help but want all the greatest things in the world for you and none of that sadness or hurt or pain. I know those things are unavoidable though. I see you spinning around in your poofy Belle dress, smiling and singing, calling for your baby brother's hands so you can dance together (be still, heart!). I see you trying to push your boundaries to see what you can get away with and learning that the world doesn't revolve only around you. I see you learning to handle your emotions and trying to figure out how to explain what you're feeling. I see you wanting to be by my side all day long but branching off to find your own independence as well and this Mama doesn't know how to handle that just yet. Most of me wants you to stay little forever, always needing me, always wanting cuddles, always wanting me to sleep in your bed with you, always waking up to you in my bed. Another part of me of course knows that you're flourishing and doing everything you should be doing, and more, learning about the world you live in, so this is to you, my love:
I hope you never lose the sweet smile you know how to turn on when you want something, or the genuine joy you get from the smallest things happening to you or that you do for someone else. I hope you always find comfort in knowing that I'm your Mama and I will always be here to support you, stand up for you, teach you, help you grow, and learn from you. I hope you're able to remember that there is good in the world, even when unthinkable things happen. I know one day you'll cry, you'll wonder why God is putting you through some of the things you'll have to go through. I pray you'll be able to trust in Him with your whole heart and know He is for you, He always has been and will be. I pray you know there is comfort in the Lord even when you can't see it.
Please learn to love yourself before you try to love others and never discount yourself, no matter what the reason. You are worth everything imaginable. Please remember that you will have to work hard for the things you want, no matter how small and to not take the opportunities given to you for granted. I want you to remember to be kind and gentle with others as we never know how much one simple kind act can alter that person.
You are so much more than what you see on tv and social media. You're a real person who will have bad days, who will have hardships but you'll also have triumphs and unforgettable days. I hope you learn not to compare yourself with others and to use what you have to achieve your goals. I want those goals to be set high, baby girl.
I hope you know that you can come to me with any problems you have, and to always turn to prayer. Please know that whatever decisions I make for you as you grow up, they're not selfish or unfair, I make those decisions for you because you are my child and I love you more than you can imagine. I will set boundaries for you, and you will test them, because I have been through things that you haven't, and I'll try my best to protect you and your emotions from pain. I pray that you get all the attention you could ask for from your family and that you don't look for it from somewhere else. We want nothing but the very best for you, baby girl.