To The Working Husbands With Stay At Home Wives:
“They really don’t get how hard it is being a stay at home mom...” That’s the thing I hear so so often from other stay at home mamas and I’m sure I’ve said it myself, too. It’s HARD being a stay at home parent!
Some days I wish I could be woken up early by my alarm clock instead of my three year old telling me she needs to potty, be forced to actually get ready to interact with adults, leave my house for my morning coffee that someone else makes for me, and go to work. Having two toddlers running around all day is no joke and it’s completely exhausting. I wish I could get a “lunch break” some days, but instead I’m just trying to keep their food on their plates or in their bellies with no chance to think about what I’ll be eating. Oh, and I can’t tell you the last time I went to the bathroom ALONE. That’s a luxury I just don’t know anymore. The constant wants and needs and whines and cries that make up my day are never ending.
When I don’t have my babies with me though, I miss the constant cuddles, kisses, smiles, the learning, exploring, and love they give me every single day more. I feel like maybe us stay at home moms just “don’t get it”. I couldn’t imagine not being with my babies everyday. It’s a gift and a true sacrifice that the working husbands are doing for their families, working hard to allow mama to be at home. I feel like that shouldn’t be taken lightly or be disregarded as lazy. Yeah, after I’ve been with the kiddos all day long I’d love a break! But who’s going to give me that break? Oh right, my husband who’s mentally drained, physically exhausted, and really just wants a break himself but would rather I have one instead. First off, THANK YOU, husband! I know I don't say thank you enough.
I know it's easy for us mamas to think how can he be so tired from sitting all day and looking at a computer when I've been running after the babies all day?! (Or whatever it is your spouse does) But I think we might tend to forget that although our husbands are out of the house away from the chaos that consumes us mamas on the daily, he has a whole lot of stress riding on his shoulders. He's the only one supporting his entire family, you guys! That's pretty freaking heavy! I'm sure my husband would love to spend all his days with his babies, even with the meltdowns, getting all the love and sweetness us mamas get but he's chosen to do what needs to be done to allow his family to be together everyday. Talk about self-sacrifice.
I've been on both sides of this, I used to work out of the house, full-time for the past ten years, three years after I had Emily. I know what it's like to send your kiddos to daycare or with Grandparents to have to go to work. I know what it's like to come home exhausted already and be dreaming of bedtime but also to be thinking of all the things that need done at home. There are some days when my husband comes home from an over ten hour work day and he hasn't even had a chance to eat! Then he is expected to do all the things I've been waiting on him to get home to do; help with photos for the blog, take the baby to swim class, help Emily trace her letters, look at all the adorable things they did all day through my phone, move the heavy stuff to the basement since I decided to rearrange everything (again), wrangle the kiddos while trying to make dinner so mama can finally shower, be stuck watching children's shows until bedtime instead of the basketball game he's been thinking about all day, just So. Much. Stuff. I'll tell you one thing, though... I must have hit the jackpot because being a father is something my husband never complains about and I'm so grateful for that. So to all you husbands who go above and beyond to support your family which allows your wife to stay at home with the kiddos, thank you, you'll never know how much it means to us! And to all us mamas who complain that our husbands have it easier than us, get real...think about how things would be if the roles were flipped! To all the parents who both work outside the house and send your kiddos to daycare, GO YOU! There is not only one right way to be a parent and we're all making our way through this life together, so let's start focusing on the good rather than who has it easier than the other.