It’s Ok To Not Be Ok

Having two toddlers at home all day is no joke, you guys.  I never pictured myself as a stay at home parent but right now that seems to be what's best for our family so here I am!  I definitely don't hate it at all, I mean, being home all day does have it's perks.  I don't have to get out in the crazy snow or unpredictable weather we get here if I don't want to... That's a huge plus.  I can sort of shower when I want to if the babies will "allow" it, haha.  I get to go to Target any time I want!  

Being a stay at home mama can be so hard though, too.  Yes it's easy to look in from the outside and think that it's such an easy gig, but man it's SO not!  Everyday I wake up by my three year old climbing in our bed at 5:30am and Brody wakes up around 6:00am so that's when my day starts.  Luckily I don't have to "get ready" if I don't want to.  Everyday is pretty much the same, trying to find new things to help teach the kiddos, making food, potty breaks, diaper changes, trying to get both kiddos to nap, and just keeping them alive and happy.  

There's so little time in the day to actually take care of yourself, though.  I feel like that's where mamas can get lost.  For a long long time, I'm talking like three years, I was so unhappy.  I felt like I'd lost everything about me.  It took me a lot of self-work, doctor and counselor meetings, talking to my pastor, all kinds of things to realize that it's ok to not be ok.  Whatever your reason is for feeling like you're not ok, let me tell you what helps; talking about it!  Getting it outside of your head, outside of your body.  Talk to someone you trust and someone that you know won't judge you for the way you're feeling.  If you don;t feel like you have someone like that then go outside of your circle, maybe to a therapist.  I've been going to counseling for months now, just me, and I love it.  I feel like there's a stigma surrounding seeing a therapist but in reality it's so nice being able to just let it all out and have someone who's trained give you their unbiased take on things.  So many times I've realized things through therapy that I never would have without it.

I guess my take away from this would just be to not discount your worth.  You're worth the time it takes to became ok with yourself, the money for therapy, the confidence to do what it takes to get "you" back!