Ahh, the question I ask myself probably 10x or more a week, am I right?! Sometimes I feel like life gets us down, things don't go the way we think they will or plan for, people leave us too early, horrible things are happening in the world... All those things used to make me wonder what my life's purpose was.
Once I had my babies I thought for a long time that I was out here to be a Mama, but I don't think that's true anymore. Yes, I absolutely love being a Mom and having little ones loving on me all day or course but is that my PURPOSE? No. For quite awhile now, since I left my career of over ten years, I had been feeling so lost, sort of going from job to job trying to find something that worked for me and my family. Nothing did. Nothing fulfilled me. I was going through some personal trials during this time too, and it seemed like everything I did just wasn't good enough and wasn't right. No one necessarily told me I wasn't good enough but in my mind that's what I'd built up and me constantly thinking like that made me eventually believe it about myself.
It wasn't until I took my first self-conscious, nervous step into church after like, 20+ years that I started to realize what it's all about. Him. God, our savior. I was so nervous to walk into the church, sit "that" close, feel like I was going to cry but trying to hold it in. It was such a rush of emotions, and you know how for some reason when you go to church, especially after not going for a long time, the sermon really just speaks to you? That was me. I walked in that day not knowing what I believed because so much in my life hadn't been the best lately but I walked out with this one thing-hope. Hope that there was a way to change. Not to change myself for anyone, butt or me to be a better person, be more God-like, follow in His footsteps.
Instead of trying to compare myself with other people on social media or celebrities who can sometimes (a lot of the time) seem to have such a perfect, clean, healthy happy life I decided to stop, right then. There was no point in doing that because in reality, were leasing our bodies for such a short time, living each day, trying to make it to the time we meet Him and spend our eternities in Heaven, happy, without pain.
I had a hard time turning 30... and now I'm 32 and have finally started to welcome growing "old". Yeah it's awesome to be young but man it's so nice getting to a place where I feel safe. Safe in my marriage, safe in our home, with my babies knowing they'll be provided for and loved beyond imagine, so safe in my relationship with God.
Anyway, so what are we here for? We're here for Him, to serve Him.